A RELENTLESS NOTE TO PROFESSOR GATES & FRIENDS

[Relentless Aaron]

ONE THING I KNOW IS THAT EXPERIENCE HELPS. I just went through this very incident a couple of months back,
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=85959368563
Sir. And I was told (after the fact) that I handled myself well. Did you? I mean, really. Did you keep a certain composure? Did you tame your tongue? Did you feel the least bit annoyed? Professor, if anyone is upset about circumstances like these it's me, a man of color who's been there and done that. But GUESS WHAT PROFESSOR: we have SO MANY of these references in our past (especially you) that we should be well versed and experienced in how to handle our situation. Yes I hear the Pres talkin about he didn't have all the facts. And I also hear both sides of this equation. But I'm ballsy enough to "go in"at this point and say that just as this cop was out of line, SO WERE YOU. Now, here's my point: YOU'RE A PROFESSOR! You're SMARTER! You know PSYCHOLOGY! You are more BRILLIANT than (likely) half of the Cambridge Police Force. Maybe moreso than all of them. And I don't believe your run-in would've gotten ANY publicity if you hadn't been arrested. So, in MY opinion, you pushed the envelope. You had the option; the ball was in your court to make something of this, or NOT. And you decided to go for it. And so we now have to debate this issue over and over and over again, just when we began to gain some ground with mending this broken tapestry of colors and cultures and worldviews. We're definitely getting platforms to broadcast our plight (as people of color) to address the ills in our society. But Gates, Pookie around the corner just got shot in the back by a white officer; a much more pressing issue to be addressed. A possible break-in in upscale, insulated Cambridge is NOT the world issue that we should all be discussing. If you'll forgive my being candid, (and I'm no saint by ANY means) this is no less than you provoking more possibilities from an otherwise uneventful occasion. Interactions between people will ALWAYS call for such possibilities, no matter WHAT color you are. And you, Sir, turned this into YOUR show, and manufactured the opportunity for you to cry wolf, Sir. Do YOU (of all people) need training on dealing with stupid cops?

I just got stopped and questioned two days ago (just because) and all I could think about was how you handled your situation, and how I would do just the opposite; in other words, I would not throw fuel on the flames. Ef who's right and who's wrong. Ef the reason why the cops stopped you or me. The bottom line here is to survive the instance and to go to bed in peace. If not, I'm sure you could find a million things to cry about, everyday, all day. But do we want the challenges? OF COURSE. But give me REAL challenges, Professor! By all accounts, you were upset that you were being bothered at your own gated doorstep. Okay fine. What that means is that the cop OBVIOUSLY did not know you. (Black or white). And THAT'S ALL IT MEANS. What it ALSO means is that a whole "next level" mission now shadows the interaction. That would be YOUR mission. Your mission, Professor, is to play chess. You must outsmart your opponent. Oh, and he IS your opponent, Professor. Do NOT get that twisted. He's got the gun. You've got what? Your mouth. So, because it takes TWO to tango, you, SIr, are challenged to use your mouth wisely. You didn't. You threw fuel on the fire. You were at fault just as much as he was, and this became an EGO ISSUE, not a RACE ISSUE. Mister "YOU DON"T KNOW WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH." That attitude is just a little too "greater than Thou" for my meek, humble position. I think you took Barack's win a little too seriously in the end. He won, yes. But that doesn't mean we all won. That doesn't mean all the deaths and sacrifices and struggles are atoned for. I LOVE my people, but I know what fights to pick and when to hold and when to fold.

As your life coach, I'm suggesting that you "man up" to your fault in this rendezvous; one that could have turned into something way more serious and deadly. Forget what police officers are SUPPOSED to represent, and forget about public safety, compassion and respect for and from our fellow man; FORGET ALL OF THAT. Your circumstances that night were just as unpredictable as the clouds hovering over the French Quarter. Because, as we all know these days, nothing & nobody is guaranteed to be what and who you think. Anything can happen, and it usually does, as you now know.

So, congratulations for adding another couple lines to your legacy, but I'm hereby suggesting that you take account and install what my friend Oz calls the 3 A's: ATTITUDE. APPROACH. APPEARANCE. And you'll need to do this no matter how emotional you urge to be. If you'll excuse me for my opinion, you failed on the first A. Anyone who knows psychology would tell you to address aggression with regression, especially if you CAN'T WIN. Sir, you can't beat City hall. And you DEFINITELY cannot beat a man with a gun and (maybe) a chip on his shoulder.
I recall Dr. King's arrests and how calm he was in his acceptance. But this occasion hardly falls into the category of civil rights, or the "Dr King way" of dealing with things. This was EGO at it's worse, and race was tossed in (by you) because a white officer interrupted your wine & cheese lifestyle.
Wake up, Professor. And to your friends and mine, the same. We're crabs in the barrel (most of us). And living in the suburbs does NOT give you a "pass" from brushes with reality. Use this incident as a warning. This can or WILL happen to you. How will you deal with it?

These are times that call for vigilance. And "vigilance" many times can be exercised (thank God) by the words we speak. Word.

[evelyn rasco]

good advice no when to hold and no when to fold you are so right